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Blue Monday, Mindfulness and the inner critic

21/1/2019

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Here we are, into a brand new year and it's Blue Monday. Traditionally this is the week when we begin to despair of achieving our new year resolutions. All across the country gyms fall silent and empty.

Bank accounts slip into the red as the first, hefty, payments for unused membership fees are debited.
Chocolate and gin comfort sales soar in the supermarkets.

 
Why are so many new year resolutions given up?
 
Perhaps because we often base our resolutions on negative self images or on shoulds: I’m overweight - I should go on a diet; I’m lazy - I should exercise more; I’m not achieving enough - I should work harder. 
 
If we set our goals according to negative self beliefs or with an ideal image of what “should” be in mind, we might be setting ourselves up for disappointment. Our “inner critic” can undermine our efforts, that little voice lurking in most of our heads, telling us we’re overweight, lazy, unsuccessful…(fill in your own blanks…). With a shining image of how we “should” be before it, our inner critic tells us how imperfect we are by comparison, how difficult it is to attain that goal, how we’re not good enough, that we’ll never make it. 
 
A mindful approach can help diminish the influence of the inner critic and put the demands of perfectionism into a more manageable perspective.
 
MIndfulness is about awareness of the present moment, without judgment.
 
One simple exercise for when we’re beset by negative thoughts is to take a moment simply to let those thoughts flow through the mind. Our tendency is to try to argue with them by contradicting them with positives or to defend ourselves with justifications (“I’m not overweight - I’m curvaceous;” “I’m not lazy - I walk to work every day;” “I’ve achieved quite a lot and I work long hours already.”) This positive thinking might be quite right, too. The problem is that countering the negative thoughts with positives, however correctly, can give them weight. By engaging with our inner critic we’re encouraging it to keep returning to argue with us.
 
Instead, let the criticisms or worries flow. Acknowledge thoughts as they pass. Taking a moment to step back and notice them allows us to recognise the inner critic for what it is: a mere mental habit formed unconsciously over the years. Simply standing back can give us a sense of perspective; accepting negative thoughts for what they are can shrink their power and prevent them from overwhelming us.
 
When we make new year resolutions, the perfectionism of past “failures” and future ideal goals or “shoulds” can sneak in. Mindfulness’ emphasis on the present moment can help ground us when we’re anxious about achieving future aims or distressed by past regrets. A simple exercise is to pause and focus on present sensations, going through five senses in turn. 
 
First, notice five things you can see around you; next tune in to four sounds; then three things you can feel; two things you can smell; finally, one thing you can taste. This mindfulness exercise can calm us when we’re anxious and can help us to accept and enjoy the present when thoughts of what should be or what might have been threaten to overwhelm us.
 
Mindfulness is above all about being non-judgmental. Although setting perfectionist goals might seem ideal to spur us on, they can erode our confidence and ability to achieve by focusing on our flaws, setting up comparisons with how we “should” be. Perfectionism can paralyse us with fear of failure rather than encourage us with positive hopes. 
 
My favourite quotation from Carl Rogers, the founder of person-centred therapy, captures the power of self-acceptance to transform us: “paradoxically, when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change…”
 
If we learn to accept our weaknesses, our fear of failing lessens: we can be a bit overweight, veg out on the sofa sometimes and do less overtime at work. Ironically, this can enable us to achieve more: it releases us from the pressure that can paralyse us, instead giving us room to improve in manageable steps.
 
So...let’s not let new year resolutions drag us into despair by Blue Monday!
 
If we miss a few days of exercise, indulge in chocolate and gin for a while or spend too much money, we don’t have to criticise ourselves for our “failure” or what we “should” have achieved. Instead we can accept that we’re all human, do some exercise we enjoy, indulge occasionally and budget a bit better next month. If this year’s resolutions seem too difficult, perhaps we can try out some small, manageable steps to improve something we already enjoy.
 
My own new year’s resolution is to try to make different types of trifles, like the trifles my mother used to make me for my birthdays when I was young. Trifles are gloriously messy, made step by step, slowly with pauses for rest while the juice settles in the sponges, then the jelly sets, then the custard cools. Plenty of scope for mindful practice in making them (and eating them provides enjoyment of all five senses!)

For details of our evening Mindfulness course - starting on Wednesday 20th February - please visit www.stressproject.org.uk/minfulness for more information.

 
Rowan St Clair
Blogger and practices Mindfulness
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Why mindfulness & the challenges of fundraising

16/1/2019

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Anisha, one of our volunteers, follows up her chat with Mindfulness teacher Philip, by interviewing our Chief Executive - Lucy. The conversation covers a range of topics including why we run mindfulness services in Islington & the difficulties of fundraising for community organisations.

Anisha: ‘How did you get into The Stress project?’
Lucy: ‘I’ve worked in the charity sector for 25 years, typically with small local charities in community development and mental health. I already knew about Holloway Neighbourhood Group as I lived fairly locally so when I saw the job opening, I thought I’d give it a go! I started in 2012 and it’s the longest I’ve stayed in any job. Normally I would move on quicker, but I love working with the team here.
I really enjoy the mix of activities you get to do at a small organisation and I get to meet a lot of people that the project supports. For example, one day I will be covering reception or cleaning out the gutter and the next I will be doing wider business planning. Working at a big organisation can often make you forget who and what you’re doing it for. It’s nice to meet people who remind you why you’re there.’

Anisha: ‘What do you see as the long-term ambitions of The Stress Project?’
Lucy: ‘Most charities struggle because of funding. The government doesn’t have enough money, charitable trusts are heavily over-subscribed and individuals don’t have spare money to pay for services. For the last 3 years, Islington council has been funding 30-40 charitable organisations and this includes The Stress Project and that’s been great. Yet we wanted to go even further because mental health is such an important issue for Islington. In our borough, 30,000 adults experience depression or anxiety disorder in any one week. We wanted to test a model that incorporates Islington’s unique characteristic where the very rich and the very poor live side by side. People who have a social conscious, mental health issues and money can subsidise for other people who can’t afford the courses normally. This is the model we are applying to our mindfulness based cognitive therapy course.
We started with mindfulness as we know this has a broad appeal, but our ambition is to bring this model to other therapies as well. Loneliness is very important for us. A study by Holt-Lunstad showed that loneliness, living alone and poor social connections are as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day – it can even be worse than obesity.’

Anisha: ‘What challenges have you had to overcome since you’ve joined?’
Lucy: ‘The main issue was funding. We made the controversial decision a while back to sell the building and lease it back to pay off debts. Now, we are trying to earn money through fundraising and renting out our buildings. The Old Fire Station has become a vibrant and diverse community centre. We are not just earning income from it, it’s become a hub where everyone can drop in, find out what’s going on and make friends. Every borough has its own take on community centres (which interestingly used to be called community anchors) and the diversity of Islington is what makes it so special. We are aiming to grow user-led services where people have a say in how activities are run and how skills are shared.’

Anisha: ‘How can we see the impact of The Stress Project on the community?’
Lucy: ‘We have different measures for our low-cost counselling and therapy sessions which have revealed that 6 months after completing a mindfulness course, 85% of participants said that they are now less likely to worry or feel anxious, and 100% said they are better able to cope with stress. 71% of people undertaking a programme of counselling or complementary therapies report significant improvements in their mental health.
We like to see The Stress Project as the backbone to the community. Some people will come in every week for years while others will only come in when they are feeling unwell. Quite a lot of people who use our services end up volunteering with us and one-on-one interviews reveal that people have felt listened to and felt a sense of belonging. We have such amazing volunteers here.’

You can sign up for the latest mindfulness course here. 
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Lucy
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What is MCBT Mindfulness & Beat the January blues-Part 2

8/1/2019

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Part Two of Anisha and Philips recent chat about Mindfulness... 

Anisha: 'Why are people low during the winter period?
Philip: 'The third week of January is when people’s mood is often at its lowest compared to the rest of the year. There are multiple reasons for this: Christmas has just happened; more people are in debt and feeling lonely; the days are still short and it’s the month with the coldest weather.'
​
Anisha: 'Do you have any tips on how to combat this?

Philip: 'Emotional problems can often lead us to engage in a range of behaviors and strategies that make things worse not better. Instead of spending money, give your time instead. Whether it’s volunteering or spending quality time with friends and family, this will prove to be much more fulfilling.'

'In January, if it’s practical try to get outside and get some physical exercise. You don’t have to go to the gym obsessively but try small things like taking the stairs instead of the lift. Alter your daily journey to work by getting off a stop earlier on the tube or bus and walking past some nice gardens or finding a quieter route to work. If you’re feeling down, do a little bit of something that nourishes you and makes you feel happy - whether it’s reading a book, listening to music or taking a bath with some relaxing candles. But careful not to overdo it and exhaust yourself.'


Anisha: 'What else would you like to add about Mindfulness?'

Philip: 'Remember that mindfulness is a slow burner, it’s not a quick fix. You can be an expert on it in an academic sense but this won’t change anything until you actually put it into practice. You don’t have to know all the ins and outs. The benefits come from simply giving mindfulness a go as best you can.

It’s also important to practice being kind to yourself – often the person beating you up most of the time is yourself. It’s difficult to get out of this mindset, which is why it often requires an 8-week course like the one we offer. If a course isn’t practical, there are many things that you can do at home to help yourself. Our stress levels are unfortunately rising, often due to an addiction to technology. As a result, people are sleeping a lot less. Changes in sleep patterns can affect the body’s natural cycle which leads to an increase in mental health problems. We need to turn off at a certain time in the evening rather than constantly checking in to emails and social media.

Philip is leading the forthcoming evening Mindfulness course starting on 20th February. To enrol please visit www.stressproject.org.uk/mindfulness
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Philip
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What is MBCT Mindfulness & the Mindfulness course- Part 1

7/1/2019

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One of our volunteers, Anisha, had a chat with our Mindfulness teacher - Philip recently. The conversation covers a range of topics, including what is MBCT Mindfulness, how Mindfulness can be benefital in the workplace and how it can be used to beat the January blues? Read part 1 of the interview below.

Anisha: 'What is Mindfulness Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?'
Philip: 'Mindfulness is as simple as making the conscious choice to be in the moment and non-judgemental. Although it may sound simple, when people come to try and practice it, they may find it challenging. People who are depressed are often going over past events in their head. This is called rumination. People who are anxious are often worrying about future possibilities that most of the time won’t happen. The key is to live life in the now and then you can experience life itself. If you’re not in the moment, you are living in a world that you’ve created in your own head. The CBT element of the course helps us to challenge unhelpful thinking patterns. The most useful thing is learning when to notice when mind has wandered and being able to come back into the moment. Our mindfulness CBT course can help with depression and chronic anxiety in order to prevent relapse.'

Anisha: 'Why is it a good quality course?'
Philip: 'Mindfulness and CBT is proven to be a safe and effective. At The Stress Project, we have monitored the results over time and though we cannot prove any “miracle” cures, the overall results are strong. Our previous mindfulness courses have typically resulted in anxiety levels dropping by 40% and depression levels dropping by 50% across the group (individual results will vary). It’s helped a huge number of people from a wide range of backgrounds, regardless of age range, gender, ethnicity or religion. The course can help people from all educational backgrounds and abilities. All it requires is a willingness to embrace it.'

Anisha: 'What other benefits are there from doing the course?'
Philip: 'Not only is psychological health likely to be improved, studies show that this can have further benefits on physical and social health. We cannot promise individual results but there is a very strong evidence base that a wide range of health benefits can flow from mindfulness practice.'

Anisha: 'How can mindfulness be beneficial in the workplace?'
Philip: 'Mindfulness is taught now at top business schools as it helps improve mental resilience. Resilience is the reserve of mental health stamina. The more resilience we have the better placed we are to handle what life throws at us. Teaching mindfulness in the workplace can help reinstate the natural processing and rebalancing of emotions in employees, improving general health and wellbeing. You don’t have to be ill to be on the course – it’s like a flu jab. It’s a preventative measure that can help employees deal with stressful situations.'

Philip is leading the forthcoming evening Mindfulness course starting on 20th February. To enrol please visit www.stressproject.org.uk/mindfulness

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Philip
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